How do you create a village?
/I’ll be the first to admit that I text people more often than I have face to face conversation. It’s quick and convenient. But, it’s also easier to mask our rough patches when others can only see the words we type.
I would argue that it is worth all the effort and energy to create a village. For some people, you were lucky to be born to your village. I have observed families that seamlessly play and work together and then step up for each other when life is hard. For most, there is a very healthy need to expand your village to incorporate people from your community, work or church.
Let’s do a little Q&A…
What exactly is a village?
A village finds joy in your triumph and stand with you in your suffering. They enable you to take risks and develop your gifts and strengths. When you stumble they encourage you to try again. There is no room for competition in a village because you hope everyone wins their race. Every person finds joy in the success of one another. In our complicated world, your village can become the family you choose. Although the members of your village may ebb and flow, there will be a steadiness for you because you have purposefully chosen healthy and positive people to surround you.
How do you know if someone is good for your village?
A fellow villager must be kind and live with integrity. In other words, they have values they have chosen for themselves and they live by them. Villagers do not attempt to develop a hierarchy. All have the same standing and importance. There is no room for ego or judgement. You feel comfortable with these people on your brightest got-it-together-day and your crummiest-yesterday’s-clothes-no-shower-day. True friends know what’s important to you and remind you to be your true self.
What is your responsibility in a village?
Always be kind. Be honest and support others while maintaining your own boundaries and values. Look for ways to help your people. Send them quotes. Ask about their lives. Be invested. Show up when life is messy and complicated. Brave the awkward to be there for them.
Does everyone in your village have to know each other?
Nope. Your village will probably look different from your best friend’s village. This shows healthy self awareness because you are each surrounding yourself with what you need for strength and living with meaning and integrity.
Is it awkward at first to be “real” with your village?
Of course it’s awkward! Push past the initial awkwardness and be open, honest and vulnerable to those people that have shown themselves true friends and worthy of your village. The ones that meet your openness with a loving heart.
“Ah, kindness. What a simple way to tell another struggling soul there is love to be found in the world.”